Time To Regroup

So finally something had to give.  In all our talks it finally took my mom to get him to realize that sometimes when you try your hardest to hold tightly on to something you cause the very thing to happen that you were trying to prevent.

 I went home for a week Memorial Day and I won't say we argued the whole time but it was definitely tense.  I stayed with him this time instead of with my mom like I usually do, and just tried to make time to see everybody more than once while I was there.  First major argument came after a trip to the mall when he took me shopping.
 Crazy to say this was a first for me because no dude has ever done that for me before (and I usually don't ask for things).  So we're leaving the mall and he says give me a kiss, you owe me a bunch of kisses.  I give him a kiss and then respond, "Don't say owe..."  Immediately I saw something change but he didn't say anything about it.  So we get back to his house (no words on the way home at all), and I tell him we (me and my daughter) are gonna go hang out at my mom's house for a little while.  He said ok. THEN this dude gets up, goes in the back room, closes the door, lays in the bed and puts the covers over his head.  WTF?

Anyway to make a long story short after he picks me up a few hours later from my mom's house we have a big, loud, yelling, screaming, blowup about how I treat him, and if this is how I'm gonna treat him then I can move around, "straight up" (lol). MAJOR point deduction on his part because I've told him how I felt about arguing and yelling in front of my daughter, who was in the backseat.  Not sure what exactly was the cause of that one, whether it was the 'owe' comment I made (which he fussed about), or if it was the fact that I was going to spend time with my mom instead of giving him the whole day.  Fast forward to Thursday night, when I tell him that I'm going to rent a car on Friday and then go have breakfast with my dad and sister in the morning, he starts on about how I'm not doing a good balancing act between my family and him. Turned out making the whole week more like work, to where I was ready to come back home to get a break.

(Here comes the disclaimer.)  I hate to make it seem like he's ALL bad (even though I know it sounds like it), but he really does have a good heart. I have no doubt that he would be a good provider and that me and my daughter would be taken care of.  I think the real issue is that he doesnt know how to deal with his emotions which results in him being over emotional.  I have absolutely no doubt that me and my daughter are a priority with him, but I think the bad thing is that we've become his whole world.  I may sound ungrateful in saying that but, for one, in six months thats too soon to be that consumed in a relationship.  For two, when you get so wrapped up in someone else that they're all you know, you tend to lose yourself in the relationship which is extremely unhealthy, and the other person ends up feeling smothered.  Yes I want you to love and be really into me, but not so in to me where you think we're supposed to spend every second together.  Not gonna happen.

So at this point we're on a 'break'.  A break that he fought long and hard against, but one my mom made him understand that he's gonna have to accept or lose me altogether.  I'm hoping that this break will give me a chance to see if I miss him, and also give him a chance to focus on something else other than me.  I want him to go hang out, have fun, enjoy life, and hopefully if/when we come back together we can finally enjoy life together.

We'll see what happens.

To be continued...