Paradox

"He was a really great boyfriend except for the fact that he cheated..." 

Makes perfect sense to me, but I guess I can see how one could cancel out the other.  New relationship, we'll call him X, who feels like he can't escape the ghosts of my relationships past.  Namely one ex-boyfriend who I've mentioned here before, we'll call him Blue.  I feel like Blue and I had a really good relationship in terms of conversation, future goals, getting along, and great sex, all except for the fact that when he left to go overseas he started a whole new relationship with someone else that I found out about 5 or 6 months later.  X feels like since he hasn't cheated there should be no comparison to an ex who claimed I was the love of his life but ultimately showed he didn't give a shit about my feelings.  And maybe he's right.  But what good is a past relationship if you don't take some lessons away from it?

X and I argue all the time, seemingly about the smallest and dumbest things (for example what does it matter what juice the kids we have yet to have drink one day?).  He calls me controlling, which I haven't heard before in a relationship. I just refuse to go round and round in an argument just for the sake of arguing.  What's the problem and what do you want to do to fix it? Otherwise we're just talking to hear each other yell and I am too old for that.  I also refuse to let him pop off anyway he wants, so I think he sees that as me being the stereotypical 'angry black woman'. Call it what you want...it's not my fault your previous girlfriends (who were of other races that I wont specify at this time) let you talk to them crazy.  The minute we argue and you tell me to shove something up my ass? Yea I got a problem with that.  

Anywho...don't want to make him seem like a bad dude because there's obviously a reason I'm with him. But maybe at this point and time his cons list is trying to catch up to the pros.  We'll see.

xoxo